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| *"Need a Hand with that?"
"No thanks, already on top of it.." |
Unfortunately, after the horrible accident at the Tattoo parlor, these two posed for the camera while attending some art show -- and a rich lady promptly bid on and won the hands for $4,000 each! | <left
guy> Which lady do you want to help? <right guy> You take the blond, I'll take the one in the turban! |
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| Here's one of the finalists for the "Rocket X-9" Olympic team; unfortunately, he didn't make it. The fuel cell (the sports bottle strapped to his back) chose that moment to implode. He's now a black hole over New Jersey. | My
guess is, since he's checking the filter and he's got the lighter and cigarettes
strapped to the side, that this is going to be a Smoking Gun. |
Now,
for your viewing pleasure, the worlds first Koolaid Distillery -- to make
your very own Koolaid Wine! |
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Thousands of Praying Moonies fall victim
to the Reverend's latest shrek; get it in the end. Film at eleven. |
And
now the Coppertone Dogsled Competition gets underway and -- oh look, a surprise! |
Push the Button, Frank! |
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| The
origins of the "Joe Don Baker" Cult: Practicing Overheating Dinner and Blowing
Up the Compound Day. " |
"Mike
Tyson's Fried Ears - so finger-lickin'-good that they knock you on your A-hh,
out!" |
Here's
a tree that lives in daily mortal terror of the coming of "The Day of Bobbitectomy." |
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| The NEW Stepford Stewardess school is now open, featuring such techniques as Constant Cheer Throughout Turbulence, Coping Cheerfully with Crying Kids, and Tactfully Turning a Pass into a 3-day Weekend with Bozo. | "(whispers)
Wow, Looks like Mack the Knife really knew what he was talking about --(yelling)
Er, Mr. Knife? We'll have you out of there in a jiffy..." |
The
new Low-Cal, Low-Fat cheese slice made with Olestra(tm): may cause uncontrollable
sneezing and bitter beer face when ingested. |
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| And
just as Joe was getting the Spirit, he slipped -- and ended up as a tape
on America's Funniest home videos, winning his best friend $3000 and ruining
their friendship. His best friend didn't seem to mind, though. |
After
the Captain burned the kid's house, broke his arm and gave him a percentage
of the latest movie cash, they both agreed to part company -- after he signed
the agreement on the kid's cast, of course. |
Warped
Faerie Tales: Danny Elfman on his Wedding Night *shudders* |
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| Ok,
what *I* want to know is, if they're trying to break a record for pole sitting,
*how did they get the ice cream cones up there?!* |
Santa
hits the skids in "When Elves Attack" on "Sick Sad World!" Next! |
A
show that requires me to THINK? Can I *do* that? "Honey, do I have any brain
cells around? There's this show on that's making me try to THINK!" |